2017 Oscar Predictions
Introduction Back by popular demand (one person asked me if I was doing them), my Oscar Predictions! The Oscars are always my favorite awards show that consistently lets me down. In the last couple of years we have seen undeserving movies win Best Picture (Birdman was not a better cinematic achievement than Boyhood), terrible hosts stumble their way through LOOOONG ceremonies (4 hours is way too long, James Franco is way too high), and last year we even had the award win we've all been waiting for with Leonardo DiCaprio, who accepted his Oscar and gave the most anti-climactic (no pun intended) forgettable speech in the history of Planet Earth. BUT THIS IS THE YEAR!!! I have a feeling. And by this is the year I mean I'm sure I'll be sitting there at 11:30 with my eyes half-open wondering when Sting is going to finish his performance of "The Empty Chair" so we can get on with our night. Last year we had #OscarsSoWhite, a hashtag that lashed out at the lack of diversity at the ceremony. As a result, I can guarantee you we will see a statement made as Hollywood attempts to overcompensate. And I'm sure a number of winners will scream their political agenda into the echo chamber. I saw "I Am Not Your Negro" today and the whole time all I could think was "the people who need to see this movie will not see this movie." When I hear those big Oscar speeches about silly topics like "peace" and "equality" and "letting women have control over their own bodies" that's all I can think. That being said, it doesn't mean those who have a voice shouldn't use it. Just don't expect Big Brother to hear you. Finally, you'll notice that I am posting these on my Fantasy League web page. Why yes, my fantasy football team does have a very extensive website. Feel free to browse. The reason for this is because it's easier than posting on my website and because my league is holding an off-season competition to see who will have their 2017 league dues waived. If someone in the league is reading this, text me the secret code word "La La Clinton-Dix" for twenty bonus points towards the off-season competition (Only valid on Oscar night 2/26/17). Best Pictures - Ranked by Tears Shed # Hacksaw Ridge - All the tears # La La Land - Man... # Lion - LION!!! (DJ Khaled voice) # Fences - The Viola Davis scene shook me to my damn core and I don't even like baseball that much anymore... # Hell or High Water - The ending snuck up on me. # Manchester by the Sea - Casey's character is jsut so sensitive... # Moonlight - The opening act was the best one but acts two and three pack a punch. # Hidden Figures - Pretty formulaic but the true story behind the paint-by-numbers drama is awe-inspiring. # Arrival - BWONGGGGGG. Christopher Nolan must have been busy that day. Predictions I'll be brief, the show is about to start. Best Picture - La La Land Hollywood loves two things: Making political statements and patting itself on the back (usually for making aforementioned political statements). Last year we saw the statement win with "Spotlight," but movies like "The Artist" and "Birdman" always seem to trump movies of more importance. Since "La La Land" is Hollywood's love song to itself, I cannot see it being beaten by anything, not even Moonlight. Best Director - Damien Chazelle (La La Land) Best Actor - Casey Affleck (Manchester) HUGE gamble here. Denzel won the SAG award and actors who win the SAG do not lose this race. Denzel also won the award the last time Hollywood tried to make itself feel better (the same year Halle Berry won Best Actress). But if he wins, it will be deserved. Let me just say this in defense of Casey Affleck's performance: subdued acting is just as difficult, if not more so, than loud acting. The person who shouts the most does not necessarily deserve the hardware. Best Actress - Emma Stone Best Supporting Actor - Mahershala Ali (Moonlight) He was in 1/3 of the movie but was the one I left the theater talking about. A truly gripping performance (he was great in Hidden Figures, too). Best Supporting Actress - Viola Davis (Fences) Y'all saw the snot coming out of her nose right? GIVE IT TO HER. Best Foreign Language - The Salesman This is the dude who couldn't come because of the travel ban (remember what I said about Hollywood's two favorite things?). Best Makeup/Hair - Star Trek Beyond If Suicide Squad wins we riot. Cinematography - La La Land Lion deserves to win but I think this is La La Land's night. Hell or High Water not getting a nod is a travesty. Film Editing - La La Land Short, Live Action - Sing I am going with the crowd favorite in the shorts. Sound Mixing - La La Land Sound Editing - La La Land I don't think people get the sound catagories so I think the vote will go to the musical by default. Visual Effects - The Jungle Book Original Score - La La Land Original Song - City of Stars Ba da da da da dum... Original Screenplay - La La Land Again, maybe Manchester deserves this one but not sure La La is going to be beat tonight... Adapted Screenplay - Moonlight The little engine that could won't win the big prize but an acting and a writing award are huge consolation prizes for a stellar film. Costume Design - La La Land Doc Feature - OJ: Made in America Doc Short - The White Helmets Prod Design - La La Land That finale...lawd. Animated Feature - Zootopia Animated Short - Piper Disney rules the Animateds. So there you have it, a pretty straight forward night. La La Land is the team to beat but maybe the Atlanta Falcons can come in and pull the upset. For the Culture